Where is Will?

Where is Will?  Not as in, “Is he in heaven?,” “Is he standing before Jesus?,” “Is he in Paradise?,” “Is he nowhere?,” or “Is he just in the ground?”

But that’s not my question anyways.  My question comes from everyday as in when I was at home for Christmas… Where is Will?…  When I need advice on relationships… Where is Will… When I’m starting a new venture and need his input and creativity… Where is Will?… When I want to talk to someone who I know will understand and listen….. Where is Will?… When something exciting happens and I want to share it with someone I know who has been through the same trials… Where is Will?

Where is he?  Seriously.  Where?  Why?  Why did God decide to take him?

Not to put a play on words, but it has caused me in some ways to lose my will.  To lose the hope I once saw with.  The joy I would find in this life.  I see with new eyes.  And they lack the hope they once had.  They lack the joy they once had.  They see disease.  They see heartache.  They see pain.  They see families dreading the holiday season.  Dreading Christmas, dreading birthdays.  And they wonder why the world is filled with so much pain.

I see people fighting to survive, fighting to stay here on the earth longer and I go… “Why?” “What are you trying to live for?”  It pains me to see others go through so much pain to try to survive… and for what?  I’ve seen the fight first hand.  And it was brutal.  And it won.  And since the cancer won, it took more than Will from us, it took much of our own resolve, our joy, our hope for beauty in the here and now.  And it causes me to question why others fight to have a few more years on this earth.  Because to me, the earth lost its joy.  But for many there is plenty to fight for….  There are spouses, children, families and loved ones.

It’s so strange feeling this way when – I mean, no one maybe in the history of life fought harder for life than Will did.  And he did so for you.  For Angie, for his loved ones, for those God had put in his path to bring hope to.

But now that we’ve lost Will, rather than it being inspiring it makes life seem not that important.

I’m reminded of when Jesus died.  The disciples simply went back to fishing.  And then Jesus comes back and they start the greatest revolution ever known to man.  That’s really cool.  And I’m really glad Jesus came back to give us a little more direction and a lot more hope.  Sadly, Will’s not coming back.  And with so many questions, there’s only one guy I want to find so I can ask him, so… “Where’s Will?”

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3 thoughts on “Where is Will?

  1. John, I so feel you. I remember reaching for my phone often when my dad died and forgetting I couldn’t talk to him anymore. It’s happened on and off throughout the last ten years, but much more frequently in the first days. A couple years ago, I finally worked up the nerve to call his number…just to see…if someone else had his number I suppose? It was disconnected. And that bothered me and gave me closure all at once. Strange, I know. This may sound weird, because I know we’re only supposed to pray to God/Jesus, but every now and then, I just ask him to tell my dad hello for me because I miss him so bad. Before my dad died, he promised me that he would be praying for me in Heaven. I mean, why not? When you cross into Glory, you become like Jesus and we know that Jesus intercedes for us, so why wouldn’t other people there do the same? I have a strong sense that Will is praying for you too, John. I really do. Your year of firsts and milestones to come are going to be most challenging. Many events are going to seem completely pointless. But your presence is a part of these things for a purpose that only God knows. You’ll loose it at certain moments and seem stoic at others. It’s part of the process. Keep on placing your hand in The Father’s. He’ll hold onto you even when your strength to hold on is failing because life just doesn’t seem right without your brother. Praying for you, Angie, and the rest of the family still.

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