I’ve been asked, “Do you even ask out girls or do you just write this stuff?” In fact, I do ask. Not a lot. But when I really like a girl, absolutely, I can’t not ask. Some people freeze when asking out a girl. I freeze until I ask a girl out. Once I decide I like a girl, I get this pit in my stomach until I ask. She doesn’t necessarily have to say yes or no but I just have to ask. If I’ve gone a couple days without eating, I know its time to go for it…
I had spent a little time with this girl but you know, in those pesky group settings. It was always nice but I was always left simply wanting to spend more time with just her. But I did not feel ready yet to make that play.
But after a few more of these run-ins… I felt more and more compelled to simply ask her out. I didn’t want to share too much of what I was thinking or feeling so I was thinking something casual. Just take her to dinner or something, try to make it chill like it’s a date but not really a date. And maybe we can get to know each other and see what happens from there.
There was a group activity one night, and yes, it was scheduled without impure motives… don’t believe everything you read about me in my blogs. She couldn’t make it but she did send me a nice text. I thought… hmm, maybe I should just call her and ask her out. In fact, I was going to call her earlier that day but I got really nervous and couldn’t do it. So I just added her to the mass text list…. LAME. But much more comforting.
So I got pumped up that night, walked the streets for a bit praying and then I did it! I dialed the number! She answered and we started having a great conversation. But all of a sudden, I realized I wasn’t just talking to her. I was talking to her roommate and another friend who were at the house. She had put me on speaker phone. I was at a loss as to what to do. We (as in all of us) continued to chat and a few times I tried to escape but the conversation carried on. Eventually, I simply said goodbye and wondered… does this girl have a clue why I called?!
But I wasn’t finished. I sent her a follow-up text letting her know the real reason I called. I told her I would like to catch up with her sometime and take her to dinner or coffee. She sounded positive but was busy the next day and out of town for awhile. I told her I would call her the next week.
Well, even better I saw her the next week. Once again, I am trying to get the courage to ask her but there are always so many people around so eventually there are only 3 of us so I decide to go for it. I ask her if she would like to go to a thing that next Thursday with me. She once again sounds somewhat positive but needs to check her schedule.
The text comes in later that night, and once again she’s busy.
I begin to wonder what “busy” means. Is this, “I’m trying to be nice, quit asking me out!” Or is it, “I’m busy, but please keep asking!”
I see her again the next week. I was thinking in my head some things I could say, some ways to phrase words and was waiting for a good time to ask. A good time didn’t seem to come our way. At the end of the evening I said goodbye while thinking in my head, “should I? should I not? Should I? should I not? Do it. Will I? Later. No. Now! When? What? Yes! You can. No! Uhhhhhhhhh….”
I said goodbye to some other people and then she was driving towards me. I contemplated the sticking my hand out to stop her to ask her…. So I stuck my hand out to stop her and as she got close I turned the stop sign into a slightly (completely) awkward wave… As to say, “Hey, I’m kind of stopping you if you want to stop but if you’d like to go on ahead, please do.” She went on ahead.
I felt not so much like I had missed my chance but that I really didn’t want to wait any longer. If I was going to spend time with this girl, I wanted to do it. Now. Why keep waiting? So…. I got fired up again. I texted the Lone Ranger to let him know what I was doing. That always puts me on the hook for following through. And then I rehearsed what I would say… pleasantries – check. corny joke – check. Nice things – check. And ask!
So I dialed and as I was getting ready to leave a message… she picked up! I said hello. I made a corny joke. I thanked her for helping me with some things. While I’m doing this – I’m wondering, “Am I really going to ask her?” “Should I hang up now?” The heart starts beating… And then I quickly muttered some things about how I liked spending time with her and wanted to more and was wondering if she would ever let me take her out sometime. Kind of like… and yes it did sound exactly like this… ilikeyouwillyouiwanttospendtimewithyouwillyouilikebeingwithyouwillyouletmetakeyououtsometime? (fingers crossed!). She replied with a, something like a yabayammmyehhmmya and then she told me, that means “yes.”
I was elated.