I don’t always hear clearly from the Lord when I like a girl. I don’t even always feel close to the Lord. I try. I try really hard. I try harder than ever. But my head seems to get muffled.
I usually pray more. Because I want answers. And I want them now! I usually even take more time alone to seek God.
I think one of the more difficult stages individually in life are the times you go through when you are single and really want to be married. Because in that, you really don’t have much control. I mean, you could just get married but you know… you’re waiting till you “think” it’s the right time. And the girl, well, she has even less control.
But it’s difficult in several ways. One, when you are pursuing someone or are interested in someone… or interested in being pursued by someone, it is really hard for your focus not to be on that someone… but continuously on the Lord. And you realize all the time you spent seeking and praying never really got you closer to Him but closer (in theory) to what you hoped might be.
I am a pretty satisfied single. I enjoy being single. But I have gone through times as well when I really would prefer being married. And when that becomes a focus, before I know it, I realize I have drifted away from the Lord and am left with whatever is rolling through my mind. It’s usually not bad. But it’s pretty empty in the end.
Once you are married, you get to live out a picture of Christ and His church and those thoughts are no longer empty but beautiful. Now, I’m not saying marriage is perfect or whatever, I know its very difficult but…. For one thing, it’s no longer a problem to have your mind drifting to thoughts of a life better lived together.
With a mind drifting to thoughts of a better life lived together with no together to be had, that can be difficult.