There’s a lot of opinions being formed about me. And my people.
I should marry the next girl I find who will say yes. I should marry the next girl I meet who is hot and godly. I should wait until I “know.” I’ll find her when I stop looking. I should pray until she just shows up. I should ask more girls out. And I should definitely worry about becoming the right person as opposed to finding the right person.
Everybody’s got an opinion. Especially the married ones. Something worked for them so it should work for me too.
These great people like to tell me I’m missing out on something.
I like to tell them that they’re missing out on something. (It makes me feel better.)
The fact is, we’re both right.
I envy the married one’s closeness, relationship/friendship, and the awesome things married people get to do together.
Married people envy some of the “freedoms” and adventures that us singles get to have. They can say they don’t. But I can see the disappointment on their faces when we go on spur of the moment road trips and they aren’t able to join in. As soon as they’ve said, “I have to check with my wife”, we are already halfway down I-5. It gives us singles a little feeling of victory.
Some people act like I don’t want to get married. This is far from the truth.
In my world, I was going to graduate college, marry my sweetheart and start life. And I was on a fairly good track until the right lady came around at the wrong time and the wrong lady came around at the right time and before you know it, “life” is happening.
I think we try to act like everything in life is planned out for us and will “happen” as it should. But then we live freaking out about everything that is and isn’t happening. We’re a strange people.
I think we simply make choices. And how to find the “right” girl or whatever, there is no rhyme or reason…and the Bible is pretty vague. It speaks of wisdom and then leaves us to ourselves. The Bible is pretty full of different ways of people getting together. It seems to really like arranged marriages. I’m not completely opposed. I’ve been in discussions with Dan Sagers about some possibilities of arranging each other’s marriages. Last April, we decided that we were going to first start with arranging a date for each other. But first we had to each read the New Testament in a month. I finished in a month. I’m still waiting for Dan-o to finish. Maybe he is not as high on arrangements as I am.
The church is also pretty full of different ways. I hear a lot of teaching and a lot of relationship sermons. I like some. I don’t like some. But there sure are a lot of angles. Joshua Harris had some innovative angles which some people hold responsible for the detriment of Christian dating. I wouldn’t take it that far. I actually enjoyed his stuff.
But maybe I enjoyed it too much and it caused me to kiss the prime dating years of my life away.
The Bible doesn’t give a prescription. Instead it gives a lot of stories. I used to give people prescriptions and opinions. I think stories are better.
I can’t say that I have learned much about dating.
Other than that it is an inexhaustible pit with no right way to do it.
It used to be a pit of awesomeness, like exciting and fun. Then it became a pit of, “Can I just get this over with and find “the one” already?!”
I really never wanted to date much. Thanks Josh.
I just wanted to wait and find my wife.
Turns out that was more tricky than I thought and it also included some dating. And even more attempts…at dating.
I also thought, God would just tell me who I was gonna marry, I would marry her and it would be great.
Either, I wasn’t listening, it doesn’t always work like that, or I just haven’t waited long enough.
Maybe it’s a combination of all.
I’m really not sure. But I do think the journey is pretty fun.
So as to not forget the ladies…for those who are waiting for that man… there are lots of stories and opinions for you too…. Make yourselves “more” available, make yourselves “less” available, maybe just crawl under his sheets (Ruth 3:8 – it is a proven biblical way of successful marriage), or pray for him until he asks you out (I’ve heard this works), or bring him some water for his camels (Genesis 24:14-15 another proven biblical success story), or just become really good friends with Dan. Maybe when he finishes his reading, he can hook you up. Arrangement style.