Introduction: Girls, Boys, and their Stories

I am 30 and single.


I’m not desperate.

I’m not miserable.

This is not a dating site.

And I have no advice for you.

…but I do love stories.

We all hear the “love stories,” how God brought these two wonderful people together, how they waited on Him and for him, and how everything turned out “perfect” and how God graciously blessed their “broken road”… thank you Rascal Flatts.

But what happens to those who find “the one” but then she marries someone else.  And what about the one who “waited” until – nothing ever happened.  Who is telling their story??!  I’d like to fix this.

I think being married will be awesome.  But I also think singleness is awesome.  And married people, you know those really awkward times you had dating, that sketcky guy who would ask you out…all the time, those nervous feelings you would have when you would ask her out, those miserable yet hilarious dating experiences and all those other experiences you love to share and tell… well, we have more.  And not only that, we are still making and creating them.

SO what’s REALLY happening with those of us who are dating, trying to date…looking for “the one,” wondering if “the one” even exists, hearing that we should wait for “the one” but not being able to get “the one” to return our calls, deciding to choose “the one” but then not knowing who to choose, so dating “one” in hopes that she’s “the one” but meeting another “one” and hoping it will be different this time but then missing the other “one” so going back to that “one” wondering if she’s really “the one” or once again, if “the one” even exists… I need a nap.

Yes, I am 30 and single.  And no, I don’t have many answers.  When I was 20 and leading a group of young men, I used to give out a lot of answers.  When you are 30 and still single, you don’t give out as many answers.  You just tell stories and ask questions.  The more I learn about relationships, the more I realize I never will have many answers.  But at some point, I’ll dive in to a lasting relationship and create new stories.  In the meantime, I will enjoy the awkward stories, the nervousness of calling a girl and asking her out, the freedom of singleness and road trips, and the ability to relate to my people, those who have tried only to hope the next one is the last one.  There’s a lot of us.  And we have awesome stories.  They don’t always have perfect endings….  But they can be pretty funny.

What you can expect:  I’ll post a blog on Monday’s about My Story (tracing my thoughts, my love history), Our Story (roundtable conversations and thoughts of the people), or Your Story (telling your stories).

We’ll keep it clean and we will seek…not answers but conversation and fun.  We all have an opinion.  We all have a story.  And I would love to hear yours.


18 thoughts on “Introduction: Girls, Boys, and their Stories

  1. Im like you.. The older I get, the more I realize I don’t know much and don’t have all the in’s and out’s of dating or marriage. While things have become gray in my once black and white world, other things have become clear. Like my young girly fantasy notion that there was One “soul mate” just for me, and if I didn’t “find” him, I was doomed. But now I know and believe with certainty that it’s a bunch of hogwash. There is no “one”.
    But for me, my hot husband of 18ys, duh better be my one, and it is my choice for him to be my “one”. But in my early 20’s when I was dating, I rememberd having a couple different options ( guy friends that were close but harder to maintain the frienship) but my relationship with Mark was just way easier than the others. It just flowed..
    I do believe if I didn’t chose Mark, and spaced him off ( due to my immaturity, stupidity, and searching for my ideal man) that God would offer me grace & would so kindly send a different man in my life later down the road.
    Just my two cents on the ongoing debate of “The One”

    • Thanks for adding to the conversation Brenda! That is a lot of good stuff – from someone who’s experienced and lived it. Thanks for sharing. We will look forward to more of your thoughts!!

  2. Fantastic Mr.Ross!!! I am just so excited to read all the stories. Anecdotal evidence is the best way for all us “not-so-lonely” singles to know we are not alone in this crazy dance!! Thanks for giving us a voice :)

  3. John Ross this is amazing. I can’t wait to read more stories! As one card reads…”all of our friends are getting married or pregnant. We’re just getting more awesome.” I think this says it quite well, in the most humble way possible of course

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